A ‘bird nesting divorce’ or a ‘nesting divorce is a co-parenting arrangement whereby both parents take turns to live in the family home and look after the child after a divorce. This is quite different to a traditional child arrangement whereby the child lives mainly with one parent in their home but also spends time in the home of the other parent. In recent months, we have seen an increase in the number of couples divorcing who are choosing to enter a bird nesting arrangement, which may be partially because of the rising cost of living in the UK. In this article, we will look at the pros and cons and what to do before entering a bird nesting arrangement.
Nesting divorce pros
While a nesting divorce is not suitable in all cases, this type of arrangement can have benefits for the parents and child, including:
- Greater stability for the child as they can stay in the family home they are familiar with.
- It removes the need to have two homes that are suitable for a parent and child.
- Temporary relief from any financial pressure because there is no need for one or both parents to move out and find a new home.
- The family home remains an asset, meaning that parents can wait for the optimal time to sell the property when the market is most favourable.
Nesting divorce cons
If you and your ex-partner are considering a nesting arrangement divorce, it is important to be fully aware of the disadvantages, which include:
- Continued financial ties – Nesting after divorce means that you and your partner remain financially tied. As such, this is the opposite of a clean break and does not allow both parties to maintain financial independence.
- Disputes may arise regarding who is financially responsible for the maintenance and upkeep of the family home. It is advisable to come to an agreement on how you share the costs of maintenance and repairs before you commit to a nesting arrangement divorce.
- Added living costs for an additional residence – One of the major downsides of this arrangement is the additional costs of an additional residence when you are not living in the family home (e.g. the ongoing cost of renting a flat).
- Uncertainty over parental responsibility and parenting decisions.
- Uncertainty over who will cover the child’s living expenses and how much should be paid.
- The arrangement may fall apart if the parents cannot maintain an amicable relationship and good communication when agreeing on which party will stay and who will leave the family home.
Legal considerations for a bird nesting divorce
There are some important legal considerations of a bird-nesting divorce arrangement. Firstly, for bird nesting to work effectively, you must have a clear agreement in place in the form of a Child Arrangement Order (CAO). It is vital that you do not simply start bird nesting without this in place. This will help to avoid future conflicts around parenting responsibilities and child maintenance payments. A bird nesting child arrangement order should ideally set out:
- What you are both agreeing to
- When each parent will live in the house
- Child maintenance arrangements
- How your joint bills and costs will be split
- When the bird nesting arrangement will end
When deciding on legal matters involving bird nesting divorce arrangements, the courts tend to focus on what is in the best interests of the children. This means that if a judge concludes that a bird nesting arrangement jeopardises the relationship of the child with their parent or is causing distress to the child by giving false hope of a reconciliation, they may decide not to approve the order or bring an existing order to an end. All of that said, if the judge is happy that both parents are in full agreement regarding the arrangements and these are in the interest of the child, they are likely to approve the order.
Be under no illusion that while there is no legal requirement to have a written agreement in place for a nesting divorce, this type of living arrangement is fraught with practical and legal complexity and can lead to considerable disagreement and discord. For this reason, if you and your ex-wife or husband are contemplating a nesting arrangement, it is important to understand the pitfalls and negotiate a bird-nesting divorce Child Arrangement Order.
Contact our family law solicitor who can help you to navigate a bird nesting divorce arrangement and ensure that you have a legally drafted and enforceable bird nesting Child Arrangement Order in place to protect you and your children.
